Marriage

Having been married for 10 years now, I thought I would jot down some observations I have had. Some people call "tying the knot" a type of bondage, such as getting a "ball and chain" attached to you. However, marriage is actually quite liberating. After being married, you are able to relax and be yourself, because you don't have to constantly try to impress someone. This does not mean that you can "let yourself go", bust is simply the comfort that can only be felt by being with family. Home is where you are supposed to be. It is where you can fully and freely serve the other person and be their neighbor day in and day out.After marriage, you are totally free to love and be loved fully in every way. That is comforting.

Don't wait for a sign from God that the person is right one. That is being scared of a failed marriage and violating God's will. Marriage is not about making sure you follow God's will in who you marry, but about following God's word (will) in your marriage. Once you marry your spouse, then they are the right person that God intends for you, no matter who you marry. There is no promise that God will provide you a spouse. In fact, I think the idea of a pre-ordained soul-mate just for you is a cop out from putting in the effort, bearing the cross, making it work. People nowadays want the good things without the ordinary hard work (vocation). In a way marriage is just another vocation, albeit a high calling, and one of the big vocations. One of the things that stuck with me from our pre-marital counseling is that marriage is not a 50/50 sort of deal. It is not about compromising and meeting halfway, like the world tells us. Marriage is 100/100 where both spouses give everything they have to each other. It is not give and take, but give and give on both sides.

Many today bring modern Evangelical mysticism into marriage. They have this secular idea that they are looking for a magic, fairy tale ending, with a person who makes you happy all the time. That is all based on experience or emotions. not a commitment and God's Word. However, emotions and feeling change and cause divorce. Others say they need to be ready to get married, but we are never really "ready" to become a spouse. 1.) We have never done it before 2.) we are sinful and will never be perfect at it.

Success is not about how well you do. In marriage the couple should draw closer to God as you draw closer to each other. If God is in the center, the marriage will work. Christ and church as the bride is the model.